Meh. Eloquent, for sure.

I'm laying in my bed and for the second night in a row I can not sleep.

I don't know why.

Captain Cool is right beside me and he's passed out.

My stomach is in knots, I feel gross, and I'm sad. I've spent the whole day feeling completely uncomfortable in my own skin. It's a twisted circle because I feel like everyone is staring at every move I make, but then I realize no one cares that much about me. Both of those things make me feel like I'm wrong. Wrong about what? I don't know. I think that just my existence in general is just wrong.

I know, I know that's really emo. I'm not trying to be emo, though. I'm just explaining that I feel like I don't belong. I'm not looking for pity. I just have these days where I feel like I have never, and will never fit in anywhere. That's really sad.

I don't like being sad, really who does? Who enjoys this? I don't enjoy feeling like all I have as far as self esteem is an e-steaming pile of shit (See what I did there?).

When I feel like this my insides feel all twisted and I have this urge 24/7 to throw up. It's kind of ridiculous, but it is what it is. Which is ridiculous.

I feel like I can't do anything right. Every time I make a move I take 20 steps back to a safe place so that I don't get hurt or mess anything else even more.

I know it will all work out, I know that I won't always feel this way, but for now it sucks, and I want to cry.

And I won't always have posts like this, for the few who even are reading, I want to keep them fun and interesting, but I also have this thing where I feel like I can't talk to anyone about anything because they might judge/hate/stab/throw things at me.

I might be crazy.