Sleep Weirdo

There's this thing in my life. It's like a parasite, constantly latching on to me, sucking my energy levels dry. It makes these noises all the time. It slobbers on me. It makes me reprimand it.

It is 5'7, blonde, and squishy.

It is my boyfriend.

... I know, right? You probably thought I was talking about a puppy. Fooled you! Ha.

Anywho, this thing wants me to call it Captain Cool in my blogs, as I've granted anonymity to anyone I post about that wants it. I guess I will...

I bring up Captain Cool today, because he will probably be in a lot of my blog posts.

Also, I suggest that when picturing up you imagine a super hero. With a cape. It gives more meaning to his code name.

Now that I've described Captain Cool to you let me tell you about something he does when we sleep. We will be in bed sleeping and suddenly I will be woken up by his mumbling. He's a sleep talker. Our nights usually go something like this:

Me: *Snore* *Snore*
Captain Cool: mumlai (at least that's how it sounds to me when I'm first waking up)
Me: Wha?
Captain Cool: She's so beautiful....
Me: Huh? Who? Whaaaaaa?
Captain Cool: I love you
Me: I love you too

Then I realize he's asleep make this - T_T- face and shove him until he wakes up. He's a sleep complimenter and it's really sweet. I am certainly not complaining.

However, he is not always a sleep complimenter, he is often a Sleep Weirdo.

I was once woken up at 3 AM to him saying "Open Up" and sticking his index finger in my mouth.

Also, the other day he woke me up saying "It's a 3 by 5 piece of foam! It's the perfect size!"

Do you see what I mean? Sleep Weirdo. 


It has occurred to me that maybe those two have relation to one another, though. Maybe Captain Cool has the secret desire to be a dentist. He may have been dreaming of giving me a dental check up when he probed his finger into my mouth that night. Perhaps the foam was the perfect size to fit a retainer or some head gear.

Who knows?

He certainly doesn't. I always tell him the things he says and does, and he never remembers them or why they happen.

I can say this though, if he does have this deep seeded fantasy of becoming a dentist our relationship might not last. Dentist's are scary, mean, and intimidating. He can be a sleep weirdo all he wants, but the moment he tries to put a power drill to one of my teeth during my sleep it is over. I think that is a very reasonable place to draw the line.

P.S. On a completely unrelated note, I told this cool dude Austin I would talk about him a blog, so here's a shout out to him.